Dream # 38—11/30/2023

I was at my childhood home.

I was in the kitchen with my sister.

There was a leak in the roof, and the stove was leaking for some reason.

There was a white girl who was staying with us.

There were a lot of kids running around.

Not just small kids but older grown kids too—18+

There was this white guy, and in my mind, we were dating.

He gave me a gift box.

Inside the box were sweet handwritten notes on strips of paper, saying that he loved me.

I was like… “No one has ever done this for me.”

He responded to me, and his voice was muted in the middle of his reply.

He was still talking, and his lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear him.

“I can’t hear you,” I told him.

I don’t know how, but that’s when I picked up from him that he was saying the same thing but to other women.

I couldn’t hear him saying these things.

This is what was hidden from me.

I looked away from him for a second, and when I looked back, he was gone.

The white girl who was staying with us was sitting at the table.

And we started talking.

I can’t remember too much, but I remember telling her that she and I weren’t meant to be anything more than just friends.

An adult Hispanic child, who I looked at as being my son. —at least 17 or 18 years old

An adoptive son.

He was tall and towered over me, but he was a gentle giant when it came to me.

He was angry.

I can’t remember too much about that conversation, but he yelled, “Then why is that nicca here?” at me.

He said, “Nicca,” but to me in my mind, he was referencing the white girl. —They can be niccas too

Lol…

He sat down in a chair, and I started reprimanding him.

“You do not disrepsect an adult, unless they’re disrespecting you!” —That’s how I raised my kids

“That was uncalled for.!”

“You know that I raised you better than that!”

He didn’t say anything, but he was still angry.

I jumped scenes—Meaning that I was outside (I didn’t run, take a train or fly there, I was just there) and I saw my sister.

It looked like her but the face was distorted.

Her hair was long and wild and I started backing away from her.

I knew her as my sister, but something was wrong with her.

She came at me like a wild animal, snarling and shit.

I ran, but I wasn’t fast enough.

Meaning that, it was like I was running in slow motion.

In my mind I was like, you can’t beat her running so defend yourself.

I couldn’t fight her off.

I raised my hand to beat her damn head in, but my arm only raised a smidgen before I lowered it.

My body wouldn’t obey, to attack.

So I turned to run again.

She grabbed me by my hair and yanked hard.

Y”ALL….!

I woke up to my head being yanked to the left in my bed.

That’s what woke me up.

I was out of the dream and my physical fucking head was yanked to the side.

I layed there looking stupid for a moment trying to process what the fuck just happened.

I’m under attack!

Verbally…

Physically…

And Spiritually!

It’s men. —I use that term loosely

It’s my family.

It’s my sister(s)

I keep pulling the card for my brother is talking about me.

I have to put them to REST.

ROCK-A-BYE-BABY…