Dream # 57—04/01/2024

Recurring Dream —

I had taken my children’s father to visit someone.

He asked me to give him my keys so that he could go do something.

I told him no, and he proceeded to have a bitch fit.

One of the women at the residence came outside and gave me an urban erotica book to read.

I don’t know why.

The guy that he had me take him to go see, got into my car and hotwired it.

He then drove off with it.

He came back on foot a few seconds later and was just looking at me.

“Bring my car back,” I told him.

He just walked away from me.

I called the police but somehow I couldn’t get the address right.

JUMPED SCENES

I was at an apartment building which we, my mother, stepfather, sister, step-brother, and about 7 - 9 small kids were living.

They were about to go to a waterpark.

I decided that I didn’t want to go and hopped off the ferry as it was taking off.

My little sister got left behind with me.—She was a child in this dream

I don’t know how because I specifically put her on the boat.

We had to run back to the dock and wave them down to come back.

As I was walking back to the apartment, I saw my step-brother.

He had stayed behind also.

I was calling for him, but he couldn’t hear me.

So, I started following him and I got a glimpse of him one last time before he turned a corner and disappeared.

As I was going back to the apartment, I noticed that there was a Hispanic or Arabic man coming my way up another set of stairs.

He was watching me intently.

I hurried down the stairs, but then I saw that he had changed directions to come at me from the front.

I charged back up the stairs and he changed his directions again.

So, I ran back down the stairs and hopped the railing.

He was right behind me so I ran over to an area with other people.

He disappeared and a few seconds later, I could see him coming out of his apartment with a woman who was holding a child.

They joined us—the other residents in a courtyard area.

That’s when the apartment building collapsed.

I knew that the Hispanic / Arabic man had something to do with it.

When the building fell down, he was high-fiving and celebrating with a black guy.

I wasn’t worried because I knew that I had insurance.

So I was covered.

My family returned and I followed my mother and sister back to our apartment.

It was in shambles, and over a swamp.

I was telling them not to go into what was left of the building, but they wouldn’t listen.

The wood beams were rickety and as soon as you stepped on some they fell in.

“If you have insurance then you don’t have to worry about the things in the apartment,'‘ I told them.

My mother and sister got stuck in different parts of the apartment.

Three of the little toddlers followed my mother into the building.

They were supposed to be my little sisters but they didn’t look like any of my family members.

I had my sister tie a rope that we had found around herself.

I looped it around a strong beam and I held the other end, just in case she fell.

She got across safely.

My mother just hurriedly dashed across without the rope and she fell into the swap water.

“Get out the water!” I yelled.

She quickly swam to safety.

But, the three toddlers, one by one, fell into the water.

They got killed one by one too.

Two were eaten by a large Hippo and the other by an alligator.

I turned my head each time, I couldn’t watch.

We made it out of the building.

As we were walking back to the courtyard my mother advised us not to tell our step-father about what happened to the kids.

I couldn’t believe her.

But I didn’t want to betray her.

At the end of the dream, I had made up my mind that when asked, I would say that I didn’t know what happened to the three children.

END DREAM

MESSAGE # 1:

Fuck my kid’s father—Die slow!

Message # 2:

I need to renew my renter’s insurance!

There was an emphasis on “INSURANCE” in the dream.

MESSAGE # 3:

First of all, why would my mother save herself first and abandon the babies?

They were toddlers.

They couldn’t understand how to get across on their own.

That’s why they fell into the fucking water!

I lied and then again I didn’t when I said “They were supposed to be my little sisters but they didn’t look like any of my family members.”

Those babies didn’t resemble my family members.

They looked like me when I was a baby.

Well two of them did. —Baldheaded around the edges and a small bow with a few strings of hair sticking out of it.

Lol…

Those babies were in onesies and all.—So cute

The other one resembled my sister with whom I share the same father with.

We were abandoned when we were babies—sorta

We were left to live with my father who was homeless on the street.

He didn’t become homeless with me and my sister.

He was already homeless and my mother gave us to him.

My aunt told my mother that she needed to get us because my father had us sleeping under a schoolhouse.

My mother had found my step-father and he was an UPGRADE from the men that she had dated before him.

He had a good job and a stable home.

He was a good man.

He came from a family of twenty siblings, so he wanted a large family.

And he didn’t care that he wasn’t the biological father of some of us.

He prided himself on being a good father to us all.

He loved that we weren’t his kids biologically but we called him daddy.

My half-brother and sister who were older were living with my mother, step-father, and his kids.

He didn’t know about me and my other sister.

So, my aunt took us in.

She had her own family to look after and it wasn’t her responsibility to keep us.

My mother was living the “Good” life with a “Good” home and a “Good” man/family.

Why didn’t she come and get us?

So, my aunt just dropped us off at my step-fathers home.

Me and my sister wanted to stay with my aunt.

We were so young that we thought that she was our mother.

We were crying and trying to climb the fence to get back to her.

We didn’t know our mother.

So how fucking long did my aunt have us, if we only knew her as our mother?

And you could tell that she treated us well because we didn’t want to leave her.

I’m not trying to say that my mother was bad.

BUT…

Nevermind…

I’m taking this part of the dream to mean that I had abandonment issues.

That’s why I would hold on to toxic relationships.

I would stay and blame it on, “I don’t know how to end the relationship or say goodbye.”

I do now and I showed that by leaving my ex who was and still is toxic.

That apartment, my home… it collapsed.

It crumbled.

Those babies were eaten and devoured.

They are no more.

I am no longer a child.

I don’t hold on to past baggage, hurt, and pain that I carried with me my entire life.

It’s time to forgive and move on.

The divine and spirit are preparing me to be the best version of myself for my forever person.