Recurring Dream—

I was in a university.—It’s giving California vibes

And I was trying to find my way out of there.

I’d made it outside and I was in the common area.

I was walking straight towards Chance P.

I recognized him.—Actor

I walked up to him and I touched his stomach.

Chile, I rubbed his stomach.

He’s so fine!

He just looked at me.

He never said anything to me.

I moved out of his way and he walked away.

“Do you know that you’re dead?” I asked him.

He turned his head slightly to look back at me and kept walking.

I made my way off of the university’s grounds.

And I was in a neighborhood.

There was this black guy who was waiting for me on a porch.

He was sitting in a chair and he spoke to me.

When he stood up, he was shorter than me.

He walked me to a car and I tried to pull away from him.

He was holding my wrist.

I wasn’t trying to pull away from him because I feared him.

I wanted to see if I could, and I tried two times.

“Uh, uh.” He said at my attempts to get him to release his hold on me.

He drove us, me, and another guy to a house.

We were in an even worse neighborhood than where he picked me up from.

Once again he had me by the wrist and he led me into the home.

The residents were having a party.

He deposited me into a chair and told me not to move.

And he left me there.

I knew that I was supposed to leave the home.

But I chose to stay in the chair.

And I looked down at the chair.

I watched it and I waited.

The chair moved on its own and turned me towards the door.

I got up and walked out of the house.

I walked through the “HOOD.”

And I knew what was going to happen.

My mind screamed RUN!—Get away

But I kept walking.

There were people in groups in the streets and yards.

I walked past a lump on the ground.

It looked like trash.

But as I drew near, a dog popped out and started barking.

The lump of trash moved and sat up.—It was a homeless man

Instead of staying on my course through the street.

I chose to cut through the groups of people in yards.—rival gangs

And guess what happened?

These niggas started arguing, and I started running.

That’s when I heard the gunshots.

It was chaos.—People running and screaming.

I looked back and a random person not affiliated with the gangs fell.

He was hit.

I kept running, and praying that my back didn’t get hit.

JUMPED SCENES

I was in a commercial district.

And I was in the midst of a protest.

There was a Native American’s face on posters.

Some of the protesters had rifles.

I made my way through the crowd.

I was on a mission to get home.

There was a woman that I knew.

I’ve never met this woman outside of this dream.

But somehow I knew her as my friend.

The name Jennifer keeps coming up as I write this.

We walked and talked as the protesters got out of hand a few times.

I knew that there was a police presence even though I could not see them.

There were also a couple of men who walked with us.

And one of them I was familiar and comfortable with.—We chatted

Jennifer had walked with us to some apartments and then she turned back.

Me and the guy that I was talking to and a few of the men who were with us, kept going.

They went their ways when we reached the apartment complex.—It was the projects.

There were kids and people outside.

They watched me and I knew that they didn’t like me.

One lady had tossed her puppy out and she was beating him.

He was yelping.

I felt sorry for him but minded my business.

I went to my home and my kid’s father appeared.

“Hurry up and open the door, I have to go to the bathroom.” He told me.

I struggled to get the door open.

I was afraid of what would happen If I didn’t move fast enough for him.

And when I did, he rushed in.

An older white couple, who I didn’t mention earlier came to my door as soon as I closed it.

They had been walking with us through the crowd of protesters.

“Can we come in? We want to talk to him and it’s my birthday.” Explained the lady.

I let the couple and a black woman in.

The black woman went straight to the back to the bathroom where my kid’s father was.

The white couple made themselves comfortable on the couch and started watching TV.

I followed the black woman’s path and she reappeared before I could make it to the bathroom.

I went to check up on my kids.

And then it occurred to me—”Didn’t we have cats?” I said aloud.

“I thought that we did.” My daughter replied.

I drew the curtains in the bedroom and bathroom.

I woke up, did a few things, and fell asleep watching a YouTube video.

I dreamed the same dream AGAIN!

Specifically the part about the protesters and the apartments.

MESSAGE

Both of these dreams are recurring dreams.

I had them when I was younger, and I didn’t even have kids then.

I didn’t even know my kid’s father at the time of this dream.

Hell, I wasn’t even into black men then!

CHANCE P?

This man didn’t even become famous until a few years ago!

I didn’t know who the fuck he was when I first dreamed this dream!

He died on March 30, 2024.

I’m a fan, and I even wrote fanfiction about him.

I was so hurt when I heard the news.

—I checked it, he was born in Los Angeles, California

When I first had the dream, my kids were just little kids in the dream.

This time, they were older—The ages they are now.

And in the first dream, we did have cats.

I left his part out.

But in my head in the dream, I kept getting images of the bones of cats.

The cats had died.

I don’t live in the projects.

But I do call the apartments that we live in, “THE PROJECTS.”

Because of the way that the tenants treat it.

They have wild parties late into the night.

They and their guests are always hanging out in the stairwell drinking and smoking.

Some white delivery people will not deliver because it looks unsafe.

A bunch of niccas hanging out in the stairwell.—Looking ugly, pants hanging off of their asses

Shit… I’m black and I would feel uncomfortable.

None of my neighbors like me.

Because they’re all family and friends and I report their asses.—All of them

This is not the projects!

It’s based on income.

But that’s a RED FLAG right there.

Because my neighbors are former project tenants.

Who are looking for a better life.

But, they’re bringing their project habits with them.

They really think that it is okay to have wild parties throughout the week and weekend—Outside of their units

With music blasting in the stairwell.

And drunk and high niccas being loud and rambunctious outside of my door.

THEM: “How you gone tell me that I can’t have a party where I pay rent?”

ME: “You can, INSIDE your apartment. This ain’t no house!”

Poorer people in the surrounding area think that this is a good place to live.

And it is compared to where they’re at.

The projects is 2 blocks over from us.

So they rob, steal, and break into our apartments and cars.—Thinking that we have money

Bitch we broke too—”Ain’t that right Bossman?”

STORY TIME

There was an attempted robbery at the Sheetz late at night.

I saw it coming a mile away.

From the time I pulled in, to them pulling in behind me.

And backed in and parked next to me.

To me coming out of the store and the driver’s head darting back and forth.—The lookout

The passenger was out of the car with the door wide open.

He was on his phone being exaggeratedly loud with a fake phone conversation.

When I existed the store and saw the whole setup, with the passenger eyeing me the whole time.

I paused for a moment and evaluated the scene.

I quickly repositioned my bags to free up my gun hand.

And I proceeded to my vehicle.

The passenger followed me ignoring my son.

I was silently willing my son to get into the car.

I didn’t want to alert the man.

But apparently, my son saw what it was also.

And he stayed outside the car watching the man.

That is a grown man!

Get’cho ass in the CAR!

I know that you want to protect your mama.

But baby no!—Mama got this one

I’m not no Billy badass, but I will protect me and mine.

I’m a “Mama Bear” for real.

I’m trying to keep my eyes on the driver and the passenger who followed me around to my side.

Now the man is trying to keep his eyes on me and my son.

He didn’t consider my son as a threat at first.

I quickly go to the back door to put the bags in.

“A lady, a lady! “

The man is saying loudly to me as he moves quickly over to me.

I unzip my purse and pull my gun but keep it hidden.

He stops in his tracks.

“What?” I ask, still trying to silently will my son to get into the car.

“I’m out of gas and need some money to get home.

—”Nicca, please!”

Nah, this ain’t going to be as easy of a lick as you thought!

Lol…

“I don’t have any money, but I got two dollars.”

And I gave that to him.

That Nicca was so mad!

I literally watched him stomp back to the getaway vehicle with a scowl on his face.

Who carries cash nowadays?

“Get in the car!” I said through clenched teeth at my son!

I quickly got my ass safely into my vehicle and speeded home.

I gave my son a lecture and called my friend.

And I told him what happened.

“I think that this was their first time trying to rob someone.”—They were amateurs

He burst out laughing and warned me to not go out late at night like that.

It’s a city, but it’s a small city that I live in.

And there isn’t anything to do besides watch TV.

These niccas have been watching too many movies around here.

I bet they watched “Set It Off” before they tried to “Set it all the way the fuck off!”

And to make matters worse…

I know these niccas, but I don’t KNOW these niccas!

They be at the old lady’s house next door!

So, if they would have succeeded in the robbery.

I know where to send the police!

(Shrugs)

I got to get the fuck up out of here!

BACK TO THE MESSAGE

IDK what the protesters in the dream meant.

But it is a message.

The PROJECTS part of the dream.

Yeah, I have to move and I will.

My kid’s father knows where I live and he is going to try to come back.

To him, I am home.

Where I go, he thinks that he belongs there also.

“I want my family back.”

HELL NAWL…